And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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