i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i barfeds in our rink
people are starting to question the shark bite story
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
