but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
