: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
