I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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