'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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