who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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