worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
