You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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