oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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