i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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