I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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