those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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