I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
