Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
