He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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