I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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