NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
