By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
