so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
