I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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