she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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