it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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