the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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