i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
