apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
