she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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