Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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