found the other keg... it's in the tree
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm experimenting with sincerity
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
