So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
