halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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