she was so not down for the gang bang
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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