so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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