Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
