I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think your dad took our porno
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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