omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
