Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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