You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
