Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
