I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
