dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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