We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
