I didn't shave. On purpose
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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