You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize