I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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