we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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