I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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