Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
