Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
