How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
