Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
