They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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