Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
