Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
