the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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