Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
