maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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