at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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