ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
