I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
