i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize