Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
