Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
