CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
