allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
