so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
