honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
