you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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